Skelleftea - the greatest quest story never told!

December 29, 2019

Day one - awakening of the undead

I just loaded Skelleftea. Graphics look realistic, but it's kinda linear, the paths are set, you can't wander off the main course too much.

At some point the path splits, and one way makes you believe ve you're on solid ground, but you're actually walking on water. What looks like a staircase from the distance (low poly model not fully rendered) turned out to be a smartly disguised waterfall. This could have been the last thing I saw (before I respawned).

Not today motherfucker! I had mostly leather armor, no heavy gear, so the ice could carry me. Jokes on you, Skelleftea!!

Soon after, you approach a wooden bridge, as you walk across it, it squeeks and cracks, but for something that was built when Jesus was around, it feels kinda solid. (Fun fact, the bridge was built in 1737... cool stuff).

As you clear the last group of mobs, you approach something that you're sure is inhabited by the final boss. Rest a little, drink potions and head into it.

The fight itself is pretty easy, but the loot was shitty. And that's the wrap of day one.

Day two: Ocean-a-blue

By now I learned one thing, there's no wandering off path. If you don't see lots of tiny stones thrown onto the ground to make it less slippery, you'll either fall through the ground, glitch into it and get stuck or lose a lot of HP trying to get back on course... so don't wander off path.

Looked like no mobs ahead, but here and there you get jumped by a few penguins. Easy kills, but they drop nothing.

I continued my journey on foot, walking what felt like an eternity, just to spot some mounts in the distance.

But like everything that's good in a game, they were ofc. DLC content. FUCK YOU EA!! I'm continuing on foot.

With spirits low and HP approaching zero, I took a gamble and ate a few wild berries I found along the way.

HP full, Stamina and Strength +10... at this point I had no idea what boss was laying ahead. I never came this far into this territory. Not that I didn't try... back in 2017. I came close but then... I didn't fail... I quit... QUITTERS NEVER LOSE!!

Last resting place, I was sure a boss fight will emerge after this.

Empty treasure chest, only thing that was left in it was a note with the writing "Dude, it's too cold for a fight, can't feel my fingers. Will reemerge in June, cya scrub!"

Sad life, with no loot, I took one last look at the frozen ocean.

As I soaked up the last few sunrays, fearing I won't see the sun for many moon cycles, I asked myself: "How would the average Dalmatian react if they bought a house on the beach and the ocean froze over? Huh..."

And that's the wrap of day two... no epics, not even a few rares... think I'll have to buy the expansion pack, base game is no fun at all...